It was all a bad dream
by obsi2
Summary: Maura doesn't feel like herself at all and takes matters into her own hands to fix it.


**Soooo, this story popped up in my mind because I was thinking about the frustration that causes me to see such an amazing character wasted thanks to some "writers" that don't have the brains to do anything better but to destroy her. So here it goes, my "version" of how it could be fixed.**

 **Disclaimer: The characters belong to Tess Gerritsen, TNT and Janet Tamaro. The little story is mine, flaws and all.**

She felt so weird... Like her body wasn't actually hers. Like her mind didn't belong to her. And she knew that it wasn't a good sign. Something was happening and she needed to know what it was.

The last few years had been a nightmare and she remembered them almost like a blurry set of images. And she didn't like where she was at this exact moment. Everything felt hollow, sad and almost foreign to her. One restless night, she made up her mind and started tracing a plan to make things better.

The blueprints were clear and her target too. When the day came, she inhaled deeply, told herself some words of reassurance and started driving. The parking lot was almost empty and so were all the trailers scattered around the place. She went straight to the office where everything was happening, opened the door that was surprisingly unlocked and right away she caught a glimpse of her intended treasure: a book. But this wasn't a regular book, no, this was the book where her entire life was being written. She knew that all the loss, the grief and the pain of the last few years was coming from there. So she took it carefully, put it in her purse and walked away as casually as possible. No one seemed to notice her, so she had no problem going home that afternoon.

She had the words figured out in her head for a very long time, but now that she had the book in front of her she felt insecure. Because she knew that the wrong word could cause a major disaster in her life or the life of her friends. So she knew that she had to be very careful on her approach. Right now, with half her intelligence thanks to her mean writer, Maura was well aware that mistakes were more likely to happen, but her desperation took the best of her and she started writing anyway.

She had to go back a few years just to be sure that everything went back to normal, so she decided to go back right before the BPD station shooting started. She didn't want Jane and Frankie to be almost fatally wounded, so she erased that shooting and wrote a home-cooked dinner with them instead. She included Angela, because she had to announce her divorce -and that part wasn't going to chance because Frank senior was a jerk and Maura didn't want him in Angela's life-.

Later, she erased Casey from Jane's life, because that guy had caused a lot of grief for the both of them and he didn't deserve even a minute from their lives. Afterwards, she focused on Hope. This time, her first encounter with her wasn't comical, no. This time it was a very serious first meeting where truths were said right away. And there was sadness, there were tears, because real life also has those components and that part of her life still hurt but she wouldn't have it any other way. There would be no Cailin in the picture, no kidney transplant, no annoyance from friends and familiy while she was recovering from the surgery.

When she was done with that aspect of her life, she then remembered Frost. He wouldn't die in a car accident. He would still be with them, but Nina would also be added to the team because she loved her. Susie would also be alive too, because she was her trustworthy senior lab tech and maybe, her only friend outside Jane's life. She would also get back her beloved and special pet, Bass. That's one of the things that hurt her the most to lose, because Bass was an integral part of herself and she missed him every single day. Not in a million years would she think to put him in a zoo, for God's sake! They had grown together and she intended to keep him forever. She decided to give Jane Jo Friday and her apartment back as well, because they also defined Jane as a person.

Even Kent had earned a spot in her lab too, because he had proven to be the only friend she had when the she was living the worst part of her life: losing her skills as a medical examiner. The only thing that was left of her original self was stripped away from her life lately and she wasn't going to let that happen. So yes, Korsak's wedding still happened, but no shooting, no injury and no latent brain malfunctioning at all. She wasn't going to lose herself on that.

Finally, the last problem she had to solve: her relationship with Jane. For years she had suffered Jane's mockings, bad moods and dismissals. But lately she was also suffering her neglect. So she was going to put an end to that. As she was writing, Jane was going back to her original self: the badass but also caring woman that managed to break her walls and go straight to her heart. The only real friend she ever had. The one that taught her that being human, with flaws and all, was good, that having a warm family was possible too. That she was worth it, that she deserved to be loved without making any sacrifice or losing herself in the process.

After writing for hours she looked at the kitchen clock and was surprised to see that it was already past midnight. She was tired but also content with the result, so first she went back to the studio office, put the book back on the table where she had found it and went back home. When she leaned her head on the pillow there was a smile on her face, conscious that, when she woke up in the morning, everything would go back to normal.

Indeed, the first thing she noticed when she woke up the next day was some shuffling noise coming from the living room, but she wasn't scared, because she knew what it meant. Bass was moving very slowly around the place, looking for the kale and maybe some strawberries, but he'd found none. Maura's heart skipped a bit, so she went to finally pet her enormous friend's shell with a few loving words.

"My dear Bass! You don't know how much I've missed you. Yes, don't worry, I have some treats for you." She put some food on the floor for her friend to eat and went almost dancing to have a shower.

With a smile on her face she entered the BPD station to find Frost at the café eating a donut. Her heart skipped a beat again and she knew that she had to pretend that nothing had happened, but she needed to talk to him, to even touch him to know that she wasn't dreaming. When she heard his voice, she almost started crying, but she suppressed that urge and greeted him casually.

"Hi Barry. How are you today?"

"Fine, thank you!" He flashed that beautiful smile of his and she decided to go downstairs so she didn't give herself away because her emotions were all over the place. "See you later." "Bye Maura."

Of course dowstairs wasn't much easier, because Susie was already at work in the lab when she arrived.

"Good morning doctor Isles."

She inhaled deeply to keep her emotions at bay. "Good morning Susie. You've come early today. Anything urgent?"

"No, just that I couldn't sleep so I decided to come in early and get to the samples that we still had to process."

"Oh? Is anything bothering you? Everything OK?"

"Yes, everything is more than fine, actually. Alex proposed yesterday and I couldn't stop thinking about it all night." She was excited and had a huge smile on her face.

"That's so great Susie! I'm so happy for you!"

"Thank you Maura. I'm scared but also happy to try this with him. Wish me luck!"

"Oh, you don't need it, I'm sure everything will work out for the both of you. Anyway, I don't want to distract you. If you want, we can have lunch and talk more about it."

"Of course, I'll be glad."

Back in her office, she was bursting with joy and hadn't felt that way for so long that she didn't remember. She had recovered three important elements of her life and she was looking forward to seeing how the rest of what she wrote would develop. So far so good.

A case came up so she went to the crime scene where she knew that she would find Jane. She felt unsure of how to act around her, so she acted as usual.

"Hey Maura."

"Hi Jane. How are you?"

"Fine. I don't know how, but I've managed to sleep for seven straight hours until Jo Friday woke me up because she needed to pee really bad."

"Really badly."

"Come on! It's still too early, don't start correcting my grammar until I've had my second coffee."

Maura smiled, not only because of Jane's complaint, but also because deep down she knew that she had recovered her original friend.

"Ok, let's see what we have here." And went to check out the corpse.

That day had been exhausting. She had wrapped up the case, ruled as a suicide, and above all, had recovered her old life, the one that she felt comfortable with and suited her the most. The one that had been stripped of her without a second thought, without considering her own feelings. She now felt like herself again. She had her brain capacity at her fullest, all her lost friends were back in her imperfect life and she felt complete. Jane, Angela and Maura had been having dinner at home with the typical banter between mother and daughter to Maura's amusement, when Angela decided to call it a day and go to the guest house. That left Jo Friday and Bass, that were cuddled up together like a couple of good friends, and Jane and Maura. They went to sit on the comfortable sofa, Jane with a beer on her hands and Maura with a Chinese tea - the "panda-poop tea", as Jane liked to call it-. Suddenly, the myriad of feelings she'd had that long day came rushing over her and overhelmed her to the point that she started crying uncontrollably. Jane was surprised and at a loss of words. After the first shock, she took Maura's hand in hers, caressing it lovingly, and asked:

"Hey Maura, what's wrong? What happened?" She grew concerned after a few seconds when Maura kept silently crying, almost unaware of the rest of the world.

"Maura, you are scaring me. What's going on? Why are you crying? Did Hope call you? Did someone hurt you? Please tell me who it was so I can give them a piece of my mind... And maybe of my fist too."

Maura found that comment hilarious but also significant because it showed that her protective best friend was back, so she started laughing almost histerically, leaving Jane even more confused.

After a couple of minutes of histerical laughter from Maura and complete confusion from Jane, she finally calmed down and was able to talk freely.

"I'm sorry that I scared you, Jane. It's just... It has been a very long day and now that we are here, enjoying a moment of peace, I started thinking about how my life has changed in the last years and how a privilege is to have so much. Most of that is thanks to you. You have given me a family and have taught me how to interact with others without coming off as a weirdo. Thank you, I owe you a lot."

Jane's face showed so much tenderness at that moment towards her best friend it was amazing.

"Maura, I owe you so much too. You teach me something new everyday, you remind me how to be a better person, you give me strength, your generosity knows no boundaries... You are amazing and I'm so grateful to have you as my best friend" -her voice broke down with emotion-. "Come here."

They hugged and Maura realised that this was the first hug she ever had in years and how much she missed them, so she closed her eyes and let that moment grace her with joy and make her feel more alive than ever. After all, she was back to being herself again.

THE END

 **That's all folks! Please, be kind if you leave a review, I wrote this just for fun.**


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